Study Finds Weight Loss Leads To Mental Decline!

19 Mar

JoeafterpicFeb2013Before I tell you about this life-changing study, let me clear up some rumors that were going around the interwebs that are NOT true! I have not been kidnapped; I have not been abducted by aliens (neither the illegal nor outer space variety); I did not lose so much weight that I disappeared in a strong wind (although that is the goal); and I did not disappear after making an appearance on the Maury show wearing a t-shirt that said “I am 1000% sure I am NOT the mommy”!

So, I owe you a quick update. I’m sorry. Life happens and happens mostly at a pace that goes beyond my top speed, but I manage. SO here’s the stats:

current weight: 245 lbs.
total weight loss: 105 lbs
Waist size: 42″
(and I threw in an updated “after pic)

Now that you are up to speed on that bit of trivia let me fill you in on what’s currently going on:

  • I discovered I can NOT eat green beans in any way shape or form…I might as well just take them and throw them in the toilet because that’s where they are going to end up anyhow
  • I discovered that little ankle socks and big feet don’t go well together
  • I discovered that eating rice with or without chopsticks is almost impossible while you’re wearing your ninja hood

and most importantly

  • I discovered that losing weight does in fact contribute directly to mental decline.

How do I know?  Because today I decided to order and try Insanity.  Now for those of you who don’t know, or haven’t seen the infomercial, Insanity is a set of workout DVD’s where people already in shape purposefully put themselves in near-death situations and encourage you to do the same in your out-of-shape condition.  I have several friends who have tried it and have read a bunch of reviews online and it sounds like it will be tough, but its doable. I must be crazy….or maybe insane (pun intended)…but a year ago i couldn’t walk to the end of the driveway without being out of breath now I take 3 mile walks at an exercising pace and don’t even need 2 days to recover!  So I am feeling motivated to challenge myself even further.  I find myself slipping back into some bad habits and I need something to refocus and re-motivate.

In 3-5 days my journey into Insanity (and insanity) begins and I’ll be posting every moan, groan and ache right here for your reading pleasure.

Anyone out there tried this Insanity workout?  How was your experience?

As always….stay healthy my friends!

By Popular Demand

13 Mar

I had put the “Weigh Me Wednesday” campaign on hold at the advice of my support team.  I was becoming a slave to the scale and it was starting to dictate my mood.   I renewed my confidence that my hard work and dedication to the cause would keep my results going so I didn’t need to weigh myself every 10 min.  BUT since I’m tired of being asked every other day I figure it’s time for an update :-).  So many wonderful people have supported me that I feel like you deserve to know how effective your love and support is on my success.  so without further ado…my current stats…and even an “after” pic.

Current Weight: 255 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 95 lbs

Current Waist size: 42″

Total inches lost: 6″

BMI: 36.6

Total BMI change: -10

and now what you really wanted…an “after” pic (yes, finally)..and to make it extra special I took the traditional Facebook “in the bathroom mirror pic”.

Just When I Thought It Was Safe…

25 Feb

OK I threw up. There I said it! After nearly four months of no issues– some overdone/under chewed beef got me. I had a fat brain flashback and tried to eat “the oldschool way”, which is to say I tried to eat fast and loose with my stomach. Little stomach no like that! I lasted an entire 10 min and then my stomach began its revolt…beef came back to haunt me. Moral of this story: don’t let your brain write checks your stomach can’t cash ( or something like that).

Till we meet again…stay healthy my friends.

I Almost Died

13 Jan

My treadmill is trying to kill me!

Now I know what you’re thinking …treadmills don’t kill people…it’s the heart attack that kills people. So you are probably wondering why I am engaging in all this bashing of a perfectly (seemingly) innocent treadmill. Well wonder no more. These silent assassins are lurking. In the dark and quiet corners of our gyms and basements these undercover assassins are waiting for their opportunity to strike!

My story may better help you understand…

It was a day like any other…an early morning rise (minus the shine) and a quick protein packed breakfast before my job made its own separate attempt on my life (alas another tale for another time perhaps). After fighting many fights in the arena my company calls “conference calls”, I found myself needing nourishment and refreshment. Alas, I could neither eat nor drink for exercise was scheduled and their wouldn’t be time later in the day. The decision had been made, i would deny enjoyment for my necessary exercise (now some of you may be at the point where you enjoy exercise…I’m not there yet…). On this cold and rainy day today’s exercise would be attempting a 2 mile walk at a crisp 3-4 mph on The Treadmill. It started off safely enough I began my brisk stroll, the crowd cheering me on as I went “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry…” ( no my names not Jerry and it might have been the tv, but in my head it was the crowd cheering me on! Hey this is my story you tell yours however you want!)

Then suddenly, just as i eclipsed the 1 mile mark, fate would reach out her long cold finger and touch once again…

The work phone rang…I hit “stop” on the treadmill. Nothing. I hit it again. Nothing. So of course my hibernating Ninja instincts kick in (have I never mentioned my other job is a Ninja?) and I attempt to launch myself off the side of  The Treadmill…

You ever see those cartoons where the fat man hits the ground and bounces? Well I am here to verify that myth, fat men do bounce. Not quite as high or nearly as far, but bounce nonetheless…and then they roll a little…

The Treadmill mocking me as I look around to see if anyone has seen this debacle (yes I’m alone but you know you do it too). I’m still alone…except for one killer treadmill, still going and I swear I heard it chuckle…and then it stopped and the phone stopped ringing…and nothing remained but 1 fat chocolate Ninja on the floor…

Let this be a warning to you…They are out there…waiting to strike…

Stay healthy (and safe) my friends!


10 Jan

So it appears that among the wonderful presents I got for Christmas this year and all the well wishes I received at New Year’s, that I also received a little writers block.

I haven’t had a fresh idea cross my mind in a good week now. So I’m left to write about how I have nothing to write about. And even as I ramble on about it I realize that I’ve hit my first hurdle. Maybe it would be more accurate to call it a speed bump. I call it a speed bump because I know eventually I will get over it then past it, but it’s slowing my progress down something awful right now.

I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened or even why it happened, but it’s certainly happened. I missed my calcium for the first time, I almost went a whole day without eating (if my dad hadn’t asked I wouldn’t have eaten at all), and my water slipped more often than it was on, and I doubt anyone at the gym will remember who I am it’s been so long since they’ve seen me…

It’s getting hard. I knew this was coming, but I wasn’t conscious of how absorbed I get in my work during the day and don’t take breaks (or the care of myself that I should) during the day. I have to make a focused effort to do better. I’ve started setting alarms on all my tech (not that it helps, but at least I’m aware of what I’m NOT doing).

So this weeks goals are:
1) drink more water
2) get up earlier so I can get a head start on water and protein ( this is a hard one I am so not a morning person)
3) get to the gym at least twice and use the treadmill watching me write this another two days. (stop judging me treadmill! I will throw a blanket over you!)
4) get re-motivated and re-focused and back on my game

I’ll let you know how it goes…

Stay healthy my friends. (even if I’m not…sigh)

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My *all new* New Year Resolutions

31 Dec

After years of making promises I couldn’t (and really never intended to) keep… After 3 decades of swearing to not repeat the mistakes of my past…I realize I have been going about this all wrong! So as 2012 arrivesI have compiled my top 10 resolutions for the new year that I know I can achieve! (feel free to steal)

1) i will make a list of 10 resolutions (an early success!)
2) i will breathe everyday …literally (if I fail this one it won’t matter right?)
3) I will drink more water (essential for WLS but a good goal for everyone)
4) I will smile at least once a day (the easiest way to instantly improve your looks)
5) i will stop craving fried chicken (I tried hypnotizing myself with my wristwatch to no avail…maybe I need a pocket watch like in the movies?)
6) i will remember to eat (feels weird even typing it)
7) I will think of better excuses to procrastinate (this may become I will think of better excuses to take days off of work…I’m on the fence)
8) I will not work all day in the living room in my pajamas…I will take my laptop in the bedroom… (don’t hate)
9) I will play Xbox everyday (I do that now but I’m utilizing positive reinforcement)
10) I will fail at no less than 4 of my resolutions (shouldn’t take long to finish this one!)

Happy new year to all! Have fun…stay safe….and most importantly…
Stay healthy my friends!


Crazy?! I’ll Show You Crazy!

22 Dec

Some people think I’m crazy for using surgery as a tool to help motivate my weight loss.  Of course the majority of those same people are the ones that believe smokers can quit smoking by simply throwing out the cigs and alcoholics can kick the habit by simply tossing out the bottles and drug addicts should put down the needles and just get high on life.  Anyone with an addiction of any kind will tell you…it’s not that easy.  The statement was made “you couldn’t have done anything crazier!”  So of course my Google addiction kicked in (as usual) and I began looking for diets that miiiight be  just a little bit crazier than bariatric surgery.  Here’s what I found (and that maybe some of you TRULY crazy folk may want to try…though I wouldn’t recommend it):

“The Garlic Diet” – basically it involves you eating a ridiculous amount of garlic.  My guess is that you don’t lose weight you just look thinner from a distance..

“The Cotton Ball Diet”–  Basically you eat cotton balls.  You can dip them in gelatin to give them a little flavor (as if that helps).  The theory is that cotton balls fill you up so you eat less.  My take: good luck with this one! cotton balls can’t be easy going down (or healthy) and coming back out must be a nightmare (if you know what I mean).  The upside is cotton balls are almost all fiber.  Not fiber that does you any good mind you, but hey as long as you lose weight right?

“The Kleenex Diet” – For those of you who couldn’t fathom swallowing whole cotton balls perhaps some tissue suits you better.  The same theory as the cotton ball diet…and just as dumb.

“The Beer and Ice Cream Diet” – Built around the very real scientific law of thermogenesis, the diet’s developers theorized that you could lose weight by consuming cold foods because your body had to work hard to warm up the meals before you could digest them. Effective? Not at all.  Delicious?  Almost certainly.  However, long term practice could result in trading weight for alcoholism and diabetes.

“Master Cleanse” – Now a LOT of people I know have actually done this one!  Lemon juice, maple syrup  and cayenne pepper, mix, drink (and dont eat anything else but this) and be thin!  Made publicly popular by Beyonce (and also denounced by Beyonce on Oprah) while filming the movie Dreamgirls.  This diet does give you big results.  Unfortuantely, the results are shockingly temporary and the weight loss comes from water and muscle tissue loss.  No bueno.

So call me crazy if you want to, but the real crazy is out there if you look for it (and you don’t have to look hard at all).  These are just 5 of the crazies! I didn’t bother mentioning “The Twinkie Diet” , “The Cabbage Soup Diet” ,or “The Tape Worm Diet” because the titles alone (should) explain why they are just too wild to even consider.

The only thing that really leads to long-term, healthy weight loss is making better choices! Maybe if we can get a few more celebrities behind that thought and find a cool diet name for it we’d be a healthier nation… just a thought.

Stay healthy my friends!

Faith, Focus and Change

20 Dec

This isn’t brain surgery, or rocket science…it’s even harder…it’s changing and affecting the hardest thing there is to change…yourself.
A lot of people have been asking how I stay on track (especially now that I can put real food in my mouth). The short answer is faith and focus. What that means basically is back to what I seem to keep repeating (really more for myself than anyone else) change your mind and have faith in yourself that you can be successful and you can change a lot! And this doesn’t just apply to weight loss it applies to life.

So how long will it take to rewire your brain and form all these new habits? Well funny thing I’ve found is that people seem to think its 21 days. Of course along with my food addiction I also have a Google addiction and after some reading it turns out it takes an average of 66 days (more than 2 months!) to form a habit that becomes “automatic”. Some habits (in studies) took 254 days to form! If you want to read the study for yourself it’s here at Psychcentral .

So the bottom line is you have to keep at it! Focus! The good news is the study also found that missing one day does not seem to affect forming the habit. So you can fall and get back up again! This is good news cause I see a lot of stumbling blocks out here in this food driven world to try to trip me up. Thankfully I have my pillow of faith (both in God to help me and myself to persevere) strapped to my chest…so if I fall hopefully it will be a soft landing.

Focus + Faith = Change #simpleMath

Stay healthy my friends!

Brand New Day! (post-op follow up #2)

16 Dec

Today was the big day.  Finally a chance to get back to some semblance of normalcy.  It was time for my 1 month follow-up. And for the first time (maybe in my life) I left the doctor’s office smiling.

First, the weigh-in…

And here are the results after 1 month:

Weight: 299.0 lbs (under 300 for the first time since…in a long time)

Total weight loss: 41 lbs

waist Size: 40″

Total inches lost:  8″

Blood Pressure:  120/84 (not a stat I was tracking previously, but I typically averaged 160/100 with medication pre-op).

Secondly, more good news…The nutritionist and doctor moved me to solid foods 3 days ahead of schedule (I have already had a piece of chicken at the time of this posting! AND I DIDN’T TAKE IT ANYWHERE NEAR THE BLENDER! WOOT!).

Thirdly, I have been cleared for full exercise so this weekend I’m off to Gold’s gym to start some new habits!  I am no longer a slave to the treadmill (though I will remain loyal to her, she’s been good to me).

Also, having nothing to do with any of that…I am making a new blog resolution (blogolution?) for the New Year.  I will be trying to respond to the comments that you all leave me as I love and appreciate the feedback and the dialogue. Now that’s not a promise that I will respond to EVERY comment, but I will do my best.  If you don’t get a reply please do not take it personally.

Stay Healthy My Friends!

These M0th3rf!@#$%!!

13 Dec

Caution: Rant Ahead

OK, we have established I’m a recovering food addict and slowly losing my little-stomach-mind (to be fair I may have lost most of my mind long before surgery).  So bear with me while I go on a fat rant…

I have been watching TV today and it seems as if every commercial scheduled is food related.  I have been bamboozled!  It’s a conspiracy!  They waited until I dedicated myself to health and well-being and now they are trying to undermine my hard work and sabotage my success!

So you are probably wondering who  “they” are.  THEY are the enemy! Those Gurus of Fatty Goodness.  The Heralds of Heart Disease.  The Dealers of Delicious Food Formed Grease! That’s right I’m talking about fast food joints and restaurants.  I hate them for what they’ve done!  What have they done you say?!  What HAVEN’T they done??  Here’s the list:

  1. Wendy’s – I’ve been saying Wendy’s needed a Big Mac type burger since 1997…NOW they come out with one
  2. McDonald’s – I just hate you because you sprinkle crack on your fries
  3. Olive Garden – suddenly you want to put Asiago cheese (my favorite) on EVERYTHING?!
  4. Burger King – Oh NOOOW the fries are free Friday
  5. Red Lobster – so you finally saw the error of your ways and started wrapping shrimp in bacon…I hate you.

Stay healthy my friends…and close your eyes during the commercials!

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